Couples Counseling

When faced with difficulties in their relationship many people come to counseling for assistance. While counseling can be a powerful intervention, there are important factors that are necessary to help couples bring about positive change in their relationship. One of these is commitment to the counseling process. Often problems in relationship have developed over a period of time, due to maladaptive behaviors and beliefs that need to be addressed. This is a process that calls for clients to invest time, and energy, with the assistance of a skilled counselor to be successful.

• My method to relationship difficulties involves looking both at couple traits (communication skills, conflict resolution skills, sharing of power within the relationship) and looking at individual traits (self-esteem, self-concept, ability to effectively express feelings, assertiveness, and ability to manage anger appropriately). Individual traits are as important as couple traits in understanding the dynamics of relationship and in bringing about more positive interaction.
• Our families are our first social group. Our parents and caretakers often serve as a model of sorts for our conceptualization of roles for men and women in relationships. Interactions with parents and siblings provide a template of sorts for communication styles and accepted norms. As you relate to others in adult relationships there is naturally found an expression of these models and previously learned behaviors.  If these learned behaviors are positive and adaptive they may foster better communication and understanding with your partner. However, if some of these learned behaviors are negative, even if they somehow met the needs in the past, they may need changing. Through counseling we can examine your relationship style and behavior and make decisions concerning changes that may be helpful to you and your partner. Working from this philosophy, by examining our learned concepts of male/female roles within a relationship we may find that there are expectations we have for our partner, that are in need of discussion and negotiation.
• Another important consideration in addressing concerns for couples may sometimes involve the difficulties encountered when one partner is struggling with symptoms of depression, anxiety, or other psychological issues.  If your partner is overwhelmed and finding it difficult to cope with prominent concerns, this may naturally affect your relationship.  Counseling can offer treatment for symptoms of depression and anxiety and also help clients to learn effective coping, stress management, and problem solving strategies.

Many couples find that counseling can enhance their relationship and help them with adjusting to life transitions.

Whatever may be causing difficulty for you and your partner: if you feel that counseling may help you in attaining a more satisfying relationship, please call to discuss your concerns.

Assessments to assist in relationship counseling:

• RELATE - Relationship Evaluation Questionnaire

The RELATE inventory can be used for both premarital education and also for relationship enrichment. It has 271 items addressing issues of communication, conflict management, consensus building, family-of-origin, personality traits, and more.

• Enneagram Test

The Enneagram is a personality type test helpful for personal growth and in relationships.